


[S] Everything: Go wrong.

by hyruleHistorian



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crockertier, Gen, Grimbark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-03
Updated: 2013-08-13
Packaged: 2017-12-22 06:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/909981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyruleHistorian/pseuds/hyruleHistorian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For three years, everyone had been looking forward to a joyful reunion, introductions all around, and a second chance at a universe. They didn't get it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Knight of Blood

_Funny, so this is what it feels like.... not really very painful at all._ Strangely enough, for one of the only times in his life, Karkat Vantas was completely calm. This might have had something to do with the liters of cherry blood pooling on the landscape. _Sheesh, what a way to go, though. Death by great big fork._ She was standing there even now- that crimson-pupiled human, dressed in a matching red outfit that looked like what Aradia had worn. With eyesight that had begun to fade, he could trace the circuitry that was ever-so-thinly engraved into the girl’s flesh. And all of it led to the headband she wore, the headband with a sign that he knew- the sign Feferi shared with her ancestor. _Well, guess we know where she flew off to all those sweeps ago- this new human session. Weird choice._ His eyes shifted to the other girl in front of him- and this one he knew. Jade.... but at the same time, it wasn’t really Jade. The last he’d seen of her was an entire three human years ago. In fact, he had been talking to her up until that strange glitch with Trollian. He’d heard that people change, true... but not this much. Her clothes were different- judging by the symbol on the front, she’d ascended. Good for her. The ears... how she came by them was a mystery, and not- he lost his train of thought for a moment, and scrambled to pick it up again- and not one he cared to question. But the Jade he knew didn’t have that dark grey skin. The Jade he knew.. wouldn’t have done all this. And suddenly he was yanked back to the past, just a few hours before. _So this is what they mean when they talk about seeing your life in front of your eyes? A forced flashback?_ Was all the thought he had time for before he was swallowed up in recollection.

_Hours into the past, but not many..._

Karkat sighed, ceasing to speak into his wristcrab as he stared at the sight in front of him. Terezi, drunk on Faygo, passed out in a pool of the hideous red stuff, and most noticeably without pants. Suddenly, Dave answered him, and he succinctly told him, without mincing words, what exactly had happened to Terezi. Things went downhill from there. Eventually, he managed to gather the whole meteor crew into some sort of decent assemblance. Except for Rose, who was drunk on her ridiculous human soporifics. Skaia slowly grew closer as he got into an argument with Dave over how they were going to get the thing to actually stop. Then... they heard a noise.

And suddenly, she was there. One moment not, the next directly in front of the meteor. He’d known immediately that something was amiss. Instead of the smile that seemed to be the girl’s default state, her features were drawn back in a snarling scowl, revealing teeth that were, ahem, pointedly more feral than they should be. The small and delicate circles that had been her glasses were now magnifiers, open portals to the unbridled wrath of twin suns behind them. The green fire that burned in her eyes and along her frame was not the green she used, not the gentle lime of life, of growing things, but a virulent, evil green, whose sole desire was to consume. The fury and hatred, the pure contempt came off of her in waves, and for the first time since Gamzee had become sober, he had actually been afraid for his life. 

He had no doubt that this beast-Jade could have killed every last one of them without a thought. But instead, she seemed more interested in getting them off the meteor. They had arrived in heaps in some green hilly landscape. The rest of things from that point onward had been a blur- but he and Kanaya had ended up on a landscape that he dimly recognized as Jade’s land. Shortly afterwards, Jade had appeared there with a strange red girl in tow- and now, well... he was bleeding out on the ground. 

He was honestly surprised he’d stayed conscious this long. He had been taken directly through his chest, after all- his blood pump had probably burst like a pricked human balloon. The total amount of blood, mutant blood, candy blood, outside him must at least equal the amount inside him at this point. So why.... was.........n’t.............he.........................

And suddenly, he was again. Not was anything- was. Blinking away cyan particles that had appeared for some reason... he suddenly took stock of himself to find himself one hundred percent less fork-holed. Alive again? But how? He looked around him. Kanaya was standing with a shocked look- evidently just as surprised as he was. Jade was flickering with energy, and then wasn’t- she’d teleported somewhere. And that other girl was standing there, giant fork by her side, motionless and emotionless. He got up and moved behind Kanaya. And the girl just stood there.


	2. Knight of Time

_And this.. is officially not happening._ Dave thought as he stood face to face with Jade, evil Jade, terrifying dog Jade... made only slightly less scary by the fact that she was holding a rainbow-striped blade straight out of some one-year old pirate’s nursery. _Not cool. Swords are my gimmick._ Sure, she’d spouted some junk about those stupid handysash whatevers, but, still. She was seriously expecting him to duel her. With his fresh-off-the-alchemizer magic big-deal cueball Welsh sword. And this was not something that was likely to ever happen. Besides the point that a, he wasn’t fighting Jade regardless of how evil she may be, and b, he certainly wasn’t fighting anyone wielding _that_ kiddie-toy weapon, there was the simple matter that Jade had her crazy spacey powers- and that was something he just couldn’t compete with. 

As he tries to make sense of events past and present, one thought keeps coming to the fore. _For all my time shenanigans and stuff, if you'd asked me what the future looked like.... I never in a million years could have come up with this._ He’d never imagined being in this situation. Never imagined that he’d be at odds with his friend. Never imagined that Jade could have turned evil. Never, that is, until several hours earlier.

_Several hours earlier..._

Dave stood at the edge of the meteor along with the rest of the crew. Quite honestly, he was only too relieved to finally be getting off this lump of rock. Three years through the Furthest Ring sort of got a little, what was the word... dull? Maybe? Just a teensy little bit? Cape fights with Karkat weren’t exactly the height of entertainment. He’d broken off with Terezi after he found out about her other romance with Gamzee. Not that he had anything against the troll’s ridiculous quadrant system, but he couldn’t actually do it. And he was fine with Terezi hate-dating Gamzee, if that was what she wanted, but he wasn’t gonna be a part of that multi-romance crap. Although, speaking of romance, Rose had hooked up with Kanaya along the way, and while he supposed, again, whatever works for her, it was still kind of weird. Maybe it was just because somewhere along the way she’d discovered how to alchemize liquor and had been pretty much drunk 24/7 from that point. And he wasn’t even gonna think about the meteor’s passage through the dreambubbles. All of the weird dead trolls who were also somehow something the other trolls’ ancestors, except they were also the dead trolls’ ancestors too- it almost gave him a headache to try to figure the whole thing out. 

But all that stupidity aside, the trip was just about over, and the endless black horizon bore a shining point of blue. And now they were all ready to enter the new session, except for Rose, who was still drunk and would be for quite a while. And then Karkat started to yammer about putting the brakes on the meteor and doubtless would have continued doing so until they crashed- except there was a bark.

Karkat immediately blamed Dave for the barking, which he of course denied. Karkat continued to press the issue, drawing Dave into an argument that was punctuated a couple times more by barks before it was abruptly put to a halt by Jade’s sudden appearance.

The instant Dave saw Jade, he knew something was wrong. She was wearing her God Tier clothes, and had the strange little puppy ears that John had told them about in that letter just after they’d left. But her face was full of ferocity, twisted back into a growl that sounded waaaay too feral to be coming from any human. Her skin was a dark grey, silhouetted by tongues of venomous green fire. “Hey guys. Long time no see.” And her voice, that mocking, contemptuous tone, sounded nothing like the Jade he knew. Obviously something was very, very messed up here.. and as he turned to Karkat to give him a frown of terror, receiving one in return, it occurred to him that he could easily be facing the end of his life.

Either fortunately or unfortunately, this hadn’t ended up happening. Instead, he’d just found himself on his planet with the Mayor. He’d tried talking to Rose, but something had just gone glitchy and he couldn’t read a single word. He’d been in his room, looking back over his ridiculously hilarious ironic selfies, when suddenly John had showed up, only to disappear again. And then Jade had come back. 

She’d made him alchemize his old sword, the Deringer, with a cue ball, because that would supposedly make it able to defeat Lord English or some garbage. And what had come out of the alchemiter? None other than that stupid Caledwelsh or whatever it was. Which was actually a downgrade- it was broken Whatevercalibur that he’d taken to Hephaestus, who had upgraded it into the Deringer. The whole thing was just so stupid that he’d gone into a good three-plus-minute rant- something of Karkat that had unfortunately begun to rub off. 

So now he had a fully-repaired downgraded sword that could supposedly be able to defeat the great big green monster guy with a skull for a head. Which he didn’t really see why they needed to. Seriously, the dude hadn’t even really directly threatened them at all. But evil Jade was adamant. And then she’d decided that in order to hone his skill, he needed to duel with her. So she’d conjured that stupid-looking cutlass and challenged him. His response: not happening. 

And now there they were, still not actually battling. He’d been talking for the past five minutes, while she’d been groaning and coaxing and generally unsuccessfully trying to make him attack her. But then she seemed to have an idea. And with a unfittingly beatific smile, she went over to the mayor. _She wouldn’t. No way. Get away from him._ “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” But she made no reply as she sent the former exile hurtling over the edge, straight toward the lava.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure how often I'll be adding to this story. I intend to try to get a chapter from everyone's perspective, but I'll probably only try to add to this when I'm depressed about the latest update. And I'll be the first to admit that I'm really actually pretty dang scared of Grimbark Jade, so pretty much everything involving her puts me into the mood to write like this. I'll get around to writing her perspective some time, and that'll probably break my heart. But that's not really relevant or anything. Anyways, that's kind of that, so... I guess, if you like it, great, I'm always open to suggestions about what I can do better, and... see you in the next feels-stabbing chapter of this depressing story.  
> P.S. Sorry if this is absolute crap. I try, but.. I'm new to this whole thing.


	3. Heir of Breath

“EGBERTTT!” was the last thing John heard before he _zapped_ away for the thirty-first time. Maybe thirty-second. He’d kind of lost count. He had to stay in motion, never remaining in one place for too long. He was having to use every trick up his sleeve to evade capture. To escape... Jade. He got a little involuntary shiver just when he thought of her. His sister, having her will entirely stolen from her. Becoming that evil creature, the servant of the batterwitch. And, unfortunately, showing no signs of wanting it to change.

And there was that other girl, the one he’d seen on Jade’s planet. The one that, if he remembered correctly, was supposed to be his Nanna as a teenager. He was pretty sure that she didn’t normally go around with circuitry on her head and murder in her empty, robotic, scarlet eyes. The fiend must have done something to her too. His fist clenched a little involuntarily. For years, he’d suspected the Crocker brand to have something sinister behind the logo, but never had he dreamed that the witch could be capable of this level of evil. 

He heard a _zap_ behind him, accompanied by the beginning of a snarl. _Uh oh, time to move._ He’d gotten better at controlling his windy powers over the trip, and he was only too glad of it now. With a simple exercise of his mind, he instantly felt himself beginning to drift apart, until he wasn’t John any longer, he was just a rapidly dissipating bunch of gas. “EGBERT DON’T YOU DARE!” But far from listening to his darkened friend, he was already moving away at the speed of- well, at the speed of wind. 

Once he was a safe distance away, he stopped and let himself coalesce. _I’m safe- for another five minutes, anyways._ He looked down at the ground below him. He’d fled all the way back to LOMAX. Over in the distance was a yellow stripe that could only be the Prospitian battleship. He drifted over to it, then descended slowly, coming to rest on the prow. The prow that had represented all of their goals since they’d left. The prow that had been pointed toward the new session for three whole years. The prow that Jade had stood on when, just barely ascended, she’d shrunk the planets and sent the ship through the wall into the inbetween-dimension. He sat down with a small sigh. _How did things ever go so wrong._

_This is the way things were..._

 

John awoke... and something seemed off. It took him a while to figure out what it was, but he finally made the connection. It was silent. No consorts bubbling or nakking. No Davesprite- not even a watermark. No Jade. But it was more than the lack of people. There was no longer the noise of travel. The battleship was quiet as the grave. He got up and looked out one of the windows. A landscape. Not rushing points of light- an actual, stationary landscape.

He moved outside to get a better look around. The terrain was hilly and green, with monolith formations all around. What were they called? Stonehenge, that was it. It looked like a whole bunch of Stonehenges. His hood stirred in an unfamiliar breeze. This place was strange, and more than a little desolate. He tried calling out a few names, but there was no answer. He looked down at the ground, saw what looked like a miniature version of the wall Jade had sent them through. It even had a crack in the same place.

He floated over to one of those weird Stonehenge things to sit and, well... decompress, really. The ride had been taking its toll, if he were to be honest. He’d really been looking forward to finally getting off the thing. But he’d kind of expected the new session... to be a little more exciting. This actually kinda sucked. Even the rest of his friends, the ones on the meteor, weren’t here. Rose, and Dave, and Karkat.... He lay down across the slab with a sigh. _So booooored...._

And all of a sudden, he found himself full of spirit once more! Out come all of the cards! ALL OF THEM. He’s himself again! John Egbert, prankmaster extroardinare, lover of Gushers, Ghostbusters, and Nicolas Cage, man in progress! Heir of Breath! And he’s finally here, and he’s gonna see his friends, and he’s gonna meet his nanna and all of the other guardians, and he’s gonna beat this game at last! He stood atop the rock, next to his house of cards, and yelled in triumph. And suddenly, there was a green flash, and six figures appeared out of thin air. He took a closer look. His friends!

He sighs, remembering his triumph. At that moment, he’d been on top of the universe, and he thought nothing could stop him. This theory had been shattered when above the others appeared- Jade. But, no... it wasn’t Jade, it was like, a photo negative of Jade. Because he’d bet a metric ton of shaving cream that she didn’t have dark, dark gray skin before. That expression of ferocity, ferality, was one he didn’t even think her capable of. The tongues of flame coursing around her were definitely new. She moved toward him at an alarming rate. And just before her extended foot hit him across the face, he looked at her eyes. Stern, unforgiving, every inch the orbs of a true evil. But... and it may have just been an illusion, or his imagination... deep within them, was there a glimmer?

Another noise distracted him from his sad reverie. Looking up from the prow, he saw her floating in front of and just above him, face full of hatred, long hair unkempt-looking, glasses reflecting her lime aura. “W...wait, Jade. Don’t attack me just yet. You know that we’d just repeat the same thing over again. And I have something I wanna ask.” And though her glare didn’t lessen, she remained where she was. “Well? What is it? I’m a busy girl, John.” He stared at her, eyes brimming a little behind square glasses. “Jade.... why? Why are you doing this?” She laughed, and he winced. That wasn’t Jade’s laugh. There wasn’t any humor in it. It was a harsh laugh and a cruel laugh- the kind that only appears at someone else’s expense. “Because, brother dearest, I’ve been taken over. Not only do I want to do this.... I am quite literally incapable of imagining anything else.”

Hearing such words from her was as if a thirteen-ton weight had descended upon his heart. “Jade... this isn’t you. I know the real you is in there somewhere. There’s an impostor who’s taken her place. She’s using your body to do evil things. But I know you’re not evil, Jade. I know you’re still you, deep down. And I know- I know- that you’re stronger than this. You can do it, Jade. You can beat out the dark side. You shrunk five planets and sent us to a new universe, for heavens sake. You’re amazing, Jade. She doesn’t deserve to be controlling someone as awesome as you. You can win this. I believe in you, Jade.”

He paused to take a breath. “Well... that’s it. All I had to say. ….Um, I guess you can keep chasing me now.” Instead, she floated there, not moving towards him, not moving very much at all. And then she threw back her head and laughed that horrible laugh again, that laugh full of scorn and mockery and, well... condescension. “Isn’t that the _sweetest_ thing! You think your friend’s still in existence. And the best part is, you honestly believe every word you just spoke! You really do! Oh, I knew you were funny, John, but this is something else!” He watched her with a sigh and a frown. 

Eventually, the mirth subsides. And she turned her attention back to him. Her face reverted to the fiendish smirk that seemed to be her new default. “Well, that was enjoyable. You really are a funny guy, John.” He looked back at her steadily. “I mean it.” She chuckled her evil chuckle again. “Mean whatever you want. It’s not gonna do you any good. Not now... not ever.” And she launched herself toward him, only to meet thin air as his strange _zap_ powers kick in again.

He appeared in the middle of some patch of space, looking around to determine where the heck he was. He quickly spotted the gentle blue of Skaia, and began to move towards it. He let loose another sigh as he flew. _At this point, he’d give anything to have his old Jade back. And you know? Sometimes, I almost wish... maybe it would have been better if... if we’d never played this game at all._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how good a job I did of translating the events of the 4th anniversary John flash, but... yeah. Also, yes there's been update since this concerning John, but I'm going to draw the chronology line for each chapter at an arbitrary point assigned by me, and any update after that won't be included. So, um, if you're still reading this, which I don't see why you would, thanks, I guess. This'll keep coming intermittently, I don't have any real schedule set, but 'll try to not make you guys wait too long between chapters. And, as always, feedback is gr8ly appreciated. Until next chapter.


End file.
